Sign on My Forehead?

Sometimes I wonder if I have a "I'm Korean" sign on my forehead.  Really, that's only when I'm around other Asians and they know that I'm Korean.  How do they know?  What is it?  What feature gives it away?  I've written about this in previous blogs, but no one has been able to definitively tell me what the give away is...what tips people off that I'm Korean?!

And, when someone guesses that I'm Korean right off the bat I do ask them how they know, but most just say they could just tell.  Gee, thanks a lot...that doesn't help me at all!  Although, in a previous post just recently I wrote about the guy in the nail salon that told me that he knew because my skin was so "white"...ha!  

Well, today I tried a new reflexology place and when I went to check out the guy standing behind the counter said "You're Korean." Not a 'hi, how are you' or 'hello' or 'everything ok' or anything like that....just "You're Korean."  When people do that I always wonder first off "Is that good or bad?"  But, then I just have to follow the tone of the statement...was that a question, a matter of fact statement or are you mocking me?  It's the on-going question I think I'll have forever...unless you can tell me what the tip off is...anyone?

Hopefully one day I'll come across someone who can give me that definitive answer, but until then I'll keep asking...and being a little bit annoyed at first.  ;-)  Sometimes I wish I had that "radar vision" that told me if you are Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Taiwanese, etc.  But alas, my "Asian vision" isn't very well tuned.

The end of August is upon us, so enjoy the last day of the month and wishing you many blessings for the month ahead!!

Just Sitting There....

I received a DNA kit a couple months ago and it's been sitting on my kitchen island since I got it....day after day.  Why haven't I sent it in yet?  I'm not sure?  

I guess finding out solid scientific information about myself is a little scary...yet, requesting the kit and thinking about the results was a little exciting.  So, I'm stuck in-between emotions and haven't been swayed one way or the other to actually do something about it.  I think that's where I am at the moment on it.  Who knows, tomorrow I could wake up and have a complete change of heart and submit it right away....or it might take me another month or so before I actually do it.

Have any of you done it?  What was your thought process...before and after?  Did it really change anything for you after you found out the results?  Or did it just give you a little sense of peace knowing some actual factual demographics about yourself?  I need to wrap my head around it a little more and be ready to accept the results.

Yes, adoptees have a lot of different questions growing up and we all go through them...at different times, different ways...but, we all have the same questions at some point in time.  It's whether we are prepared or not for the answers is the real question.

I'll let you know when I actually submit the kit, but for now it's just sitting there.

Have a blessed day and enjoy the rest of your week!

Being Kind...to Yourself

As friends, siblings, daughters, sons we tend to be more kind and generous to our friends, siblings and parents than we are to ourselves.  We tend to be more harsh, negative, non-forgiving and simply mean to ourselves.  Why is that?  Why can't we forgive ourselves?  Why can't we be kinder to ourselves and say nicer things rather than speaking so negatively to ourselves?  "You failed...again.  You're never going to make it.  You can't do that!  You need to lose weight.  You should work harder." All those negative things we say to ourselves on a daily basis.  Where does that come from?

A couple months ago, there a was segment on one of the morning news shows about an experiment someone did with a group of women trying to lose weight.  They had them keep journals about what they were thinking about themselves and how they saw themselves.  Then, they had those women sitting in a restaurant able to overhear two women talking and one women saying exactly what the women had written in her journal about herself...but out loud!  It sounded so harsh and cruel.  The women never caught on that those were their own words and felt badly for the women they were listening to.  That was a great experiment!  It shines a light and realization of how we talk to ourselves.  We say things that we would never say to a real friend.  We put ourselves down, we don't forgive ourselves for things and we shame ourselves.  It's not a good habit, but we all do it.  Are we conditioned to it, has it been ingrained in our culture or in our social environments?  How did we ALL learn to be so rude to ourselves?!

I don't know the answer to that, but I do know that I don't give myself a break.  I'm my harshest critic and I don't let myself off the hook.  That's not what God meant for our daily lives or for our growth journeys...according to a minister I heard on TV this morning.  God wants us to know that we all make mistakes, but as long as we have good hearts that stay in connection with Him that we need to forgive ourselves.  We need to give ourselves a break and learn from the valleys.  He wants us to trust in Him that we are in the right place and it's the right time for whatever is going on in our lives...and we'll soon be fulfilled by God's promises for our lives.  But, it's not in our timing but His.  All Glory and Honor will come to those that trust in Him.

So, my current journey brings me to this lesson...again...give myself a break.  It's OK, I'm OK and all will be well.

Whatever life lesson is sitting at your doorstep, may you have the fortitude and courage to see it, work through it and learn from it.  May God's blessings lift you up and show you new possibilities...today and through the coming week!

Yes, I'm Korean...

Once again, my trip to the nail salon provided an interesting conversation about "where I'm from."  An older gentleman, maybe the dad or uncle of the owners was running the water for my pedicure and as soon as I walked up to the chair he said "You're Korean, right?"  I said "yes" and then asked him how he knew.  He said my skin color "it's very white and thin" meaning translucent almost which was interesting.  I had never heard that before, but as I've mentioned in a previous post from another visit to this same nail salon the girl working on my pedicure told me Koreans have "whiter" skin.  It was the first time I had ever heard that!  And now this gentleman is telling me the same thing.  He also told me Koreans are very beautiful...and Chinese women are very beautiful.  I don't know if he was just saying that, but he said it 3 or 4 times.  It was another very interesting conversation at the nail salon.

What's the most interesting conversation about your ethnicity have you had with the nail technicians (I think that's what they call themselves) at your local nail salon?  It always seems to be something new...and enlightening for me these days...which is somewhat amusing and educational.  It's also interesting to understand how other Asians see you and what their perceptions are of certain cultures and backgrounds.

As I sit here writing about my latest visit to the nail salon I'm trying to remember the last time I got my nails done by a non-Asian.  What about you?  Mine was at my gym's spa, but I can't remember another time before that.  Interesting.

I hope you are having a blessed week and enjoy the last few weeks of summer!

Time Warp

Do you ever have those days where time just goes by and you don't know what happened to it?  I must have been in one of those yesterday!  So, sorry for the late post.

There are those days where time flies by...years even, and then there are those days that time drags on forever.  Time is one of those constant things in our lives.  It's either rushing us forward or racing across the finish line like the tortoise.  You hear all the time "Be present" or "Be in the moment".  Sometimes it's hard depending on what's happening in that moment.  Sometimes it's easy to soak in your surroundings and the beauty that God displays all around us.  But, sometimes you just want that moment to pass as quickly as possible.  

For half of the day yesterday I think I was in one of those vegetative states...just sitting there not motivated to do anything on my to-do list.  And then it was time to go to bed!  What happened to my day?  Mind you, I wasn't feeling all that great either with a headache throbbing, but still....my time was just sucked up in some black hole and it was gone!

But, as we are so richly blessed to wake up for another day...a new day is here, the sun is shining and I have 'time' to be more productive today.  Albeit a Monday, I kinda have to be productive since I have to work...but, generally speaking after my non-productive last half of the day yesterday today will seem like a frenetic day!

However time affects you today, I hope at the end of the day you are satisfied with how much you've gotten done, how much you've taken in 'the moment' and/or how blessed your life is.  And just remember, tomorrow you get to wake up and try to do better or just keep doing what you're doing.  

Blessings to you this week!

Counting Your Blessings...

The first thing I read this morning was a Facebook post from a very dear friend of mine talking about her decision to get preventative surgery (just like Angelina Jolie) as a result of her family history and the pain she's gone through watching another one of our friend's battle with breast cancer and then her sister's battle with pancreatic cancer.  Our high school friend battled bravely through breast cancer and it was a shock when she died...someone our age...someone so full of life and who had so much more life to live.  She had a young daughter and husband who have carried on her spirit and joy for life.  Right after she died my friend's sister was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and her sister was the same age as my older brother.  They were in the same grade.  So, again someone young...someone our age.  My friend was by her sister's side throughout her battle...her whole family was...and brought a lot of awareness to pancreatic cancer.  She fought courageously and in God's grace for 18 months.

It's in those moments and now looking back on how many blessings we truly have in our lives that we take for granted or forget about each and every day.  And, now after reading my friend's post this morning it made me realize how lucky I am.  How blessed I am to have good health and to have to make those decisions for myself at this time in my life.  But, she is brave, she is strong and she is a fighter.  I know she wants to do anything she can to be here for as long as she can for her children.  I'm proud to be her friend and admire her strength in her decision.  We all have 'something' going on in our lives, but it's realizing the blessings that surround us everyday that makes it all worth it in the end.  

I always give thanks to the Lord for all his blessings every night, but I may see them and say them a little bit differently tonight.  So, may you find new blessings in your life but appreciate and recognize the daily blessings you have today and everyday!

Mid-life Crisis?

I'm too young to have a mid-life crisis, right?  What's the right age?  I guess anywhere between 40-45, 46, 47...ha!  I don't think I'm having a mid-life crisis...although I did just buy a new car...but, I do feel like I'm at some sort of cross roads.  I don't necessarily like where I'm at in life...a job that I don't absolutely love, not in a relationship, not fully loving myself...just stuck in this place.  I've tried to make changes, do things differently, think differently, see things in a different way, but I'm still in the same place.  Stuck.  I don't feel like I'm moving in any direction...just spinning my wheels and staying in the same place.  How can that be?

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful and grateful every single day for what I do have and for who I am.  I'm blessed to have good health, a home, a new car and all the general goodness of life.  I guess I'm just wanting, needing more in my life.  I think that's a normal part of all of our lives at some point in time.  And, it doesn't just come around once or twice, it's a lifelong desire in our lives throughout our journeys.  We get to one place in our lives, strive for another and then another and then another.  When are we truly content and happy where we are?

I've been in that content place many times in my life, but I'm far from content these days.  I want more for my life, more for myself and I TRY each and every day to make a change or make a difference for myself and others.  It definitely hasn't been satisfying because I haven't seen any progress, but I keep TRYING!  Try and again it's all I can do.  That, and pray and have faith in God that all is well and he has my every day planned out.  Learning to trust in that is an up and down emotional roller coaster.  Sometimes I'm totally 'high' on the possibilities and proud of all the good things I'm doing in my life and other times the 'lows' seem to suck me into worthlessness.  Am I worthy of goodness?  Am I worthy of a happy life?  For some reason I think "being worthy" enough has been a constant fault for me even though I know I am I'm not sure I truly believe it.  I'm not sure why, but it's there and maybe that's the obstacle I need to overcome to see any true progress in my life.  

Whatever YOUR obstacle is keep working on it and keep trying!  It's what I'm going to do!  One of these days we'll have a breakthrough and see why we had to ride the roller coaster in order to reach our next destination.  God doesn't put us in these situations if we can't handle them.  He puts us in these situations to lift us up into our glory...into our next set of blessings.  He's preparing us for greatness in our lives and I do believe we all have that within us.  We all just take different journeys to get there.

So, enjoy the ride...I'm trying...and get ready to receive God's next set of blessings in your life.  Just keep going!  Wishing you many blessings on your daily journey...to greatness!!

Dog Days....

The dog days of summer are here...and yes, it's extremely HOT!  We've had triple digits all week and it's supposed to get up to 108 by this weekend.  Yikes!  Thank goodness I got my new A/C unit a few months ago!

How do you stay cool when it's the middle of summer and it feels like a desert outside?  Just standing outside for a minute will make you sweat!  I always wondered if Koreans were big sweaters or not...ha.  Summer days always seem longer because of the heat and it always drains my energy a lot quicker.  So, for the triple digit temps that are upon us I hope my face is planted right in front of a fan and that cooler temps come earlier than normal.  Bring on Fall!!

Stay cool out there...wherever you are (of course, if you are around the world and it's wintertime, then stay warm!)...and enjoy the end of summer!

Blessings to you and yours the rest of the week!

Are They Related?

As I was walking in line to take communion today at my church, I wondered if people sitting in the congregation that were waiting their turn or that had already taken their communion were wondering if I was related to the older Korean couple right behind me.  When I go to the early service there is a older Korean couple that sit near me.  There's space in-between us, so it's not like I'm sitting right next to them, but they are Korean...so obviously look like they could be related to me...and their last name is Kim!  Not that everyone would know their last name is Kim or that my first name is Kim, but it's just a common last name in Korea (which I write about in my book, Corn-fed with Rice on the Side.  So, it's not like my name would be Kim Kim!  Ha!

I've written about them in the past, but today it just crossed my mind as I was walking up to take communion and they were right behind me.  I could be their grand-daughter or even their daughter.  I wonder if anyone who was sitting in the congregation thought that.  I probably would.  

When Mrs. Kim came in this morning to sit down, she said "Hi Kim." and smiled as always.  Her husband, not so friendly and just walked by and sat down.  As I've written about previously, I wonder how they came to my church vs. going to a Korean church, which I know there are some around...especially since they are older and I would guess very traditional like most Koreans are about their culture and religion.  So, it always intrigues me every time I see them at church.

Whatever people were thinking is fine with me...doesn't bother me any.  But, I wonder if it ever crosses Mrs. Kim's mind, too?

Wishing you many blessings in the week ahead!  Enjoy the last few weeks of summer!