Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Two Birthdays?!

I just saw someone ask on Facebook if adoptees celebrate 2 birthdays...their real birth day and their adoption arrival day.  Now most people call the arrival day "gotcha day" and they do celebrate both days.  I never have.  There was never a thought to do so.  Even now, I wouldn't do so.  Yes, it's a memorable day and I do understand why people do it now, but it also calls out very loudly that YOU ARE ADOPTED!  And there's a lot of baggage that can come with that depending on how old you are.  And, if you haven't resolved those issues or self-doubts then I don't see how celebrating the day helps the matter.  But again, that's just my circumstance and perspective.  I know it's very different for many people and every adoption is different.  I've said that many times.  So, I don't discourage it, but for me it's not something I'd be interested in doing.

What's your take?  

Whatever your viewpoint, all are welcome and valid.  We all have our own experiences and none of them are the same.  That's what makes life so glorious and maddening all at the same time.  

Wishing you many blessings this last week of July!  

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Don't Miss Out!

If you haven't read my 1st published book yet "what are you waiting for?!"  It's a realistic look into growing up as an adopted child from a very light-hearted and humorous point of view.  It's not like all the other books out there about being adopted.  You'll laugh, find some similarities (even if you're not adopted) and hopefully you'll become more aware and understanding of adoptees in the future.  So, get your copy today at www.kimfenneman.com!!

And, thank you for continuing to follow me on this blog and on this life journey!  We're all in it together so lets make the best of it!

Blessings to you in the week ahead!

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Connecting...

Social media is good for one thing...connecting with others!  It brings us all together instantly!  To share the current moment of our lives, ideas, stories, recipes, pictures, etc.  It's a mini scrap book of our lives that has changed how we all communicate with one another.  It's definitely a different world from when I was growing up where we only communicated in person or on our rotary phones.  

Now we can connect with people from all over the world, not just domestically.  It's not quite the Jetson's yet, but we're making progress...some good, some not so good.  Last month I joined a Korean adoption group on Facebook and found myself instantly connected to hundreds of adoptees.  When most people join the group they post an introduction of themselves.  It's been very interesting to see how many adoptees there are out there (and where they are living now), and hear a snip-it of their lives...where/how they grew up, whether they like and are grateful for their adopted parents, if they've had any hardships growing up being adopted, etc.  All those things...issues...that adoptees have to face as they grow up.  All adoptees are different and all adoptions are different.  I wrote about that in my book, Corn-fed with Rice on the Side, and how there is no cookie cutter answer to many of the questions adoptees face as they grow up.  But, we can share our experiences and help one another learn and grow.

That's another thing social media does as we connect with one another...it helps us learn and grow.  As I've said many times before, we all have a story to share and some do it via social media and some do it via other mediums.  However you feel most comfortable sharing your story, do it...you may find some valuable connections and even help someone else in the process.  

Social media is here to stay so just be mindful of what you post, as we all know there can be consequences to things we put out there publicly, be mindful of your audience and stop before you press send to ask yourself about your intentions for the post...if people need to know about it...and does it need to be said by you right now.  I heard that's what Rob Lowe asks himself before he presses send on his Twitter posts.

Enjoy the rest of your week and I wish you many blessings...blessings to connect with others to find strength, comfort and inspiration!

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Long Vacation!

Exhausted!  After driving for 12.5 hours straight to get back home after a 10 day long vacation I'm exhausted...and that was a couple days ago!  Now, I'm just trying to get back "into the normal routine".  But, it was nice NOT thinking about work for more than a week!  Alas, back to reality.

Over the past couple weekends, we spent them enjoying both sides of our families...my mom's family reunion over the 4th of July weekend and my dad's family reunion celebrating his oldest sister's 60th wedding anniversary!  Lots of family and lots of fun!  Both of my parents are one of five kids, so we have a large extended family.  It's been a very long time since we've seen everyone...at 1 time, no less!  But, it was fun to meet all the new little kids and see them playing together like I did with my cousins growing up.  My mom is the oldest of five, so most of my cousins on her side of the family and their kids are younger than I am.  My dad is second to the youngest, so most of my cousins on that side of the family are older than I am.  So, it makes for an interesting dynamic between the two families.  My dad's side of the family are the ones I grew up around...celebrating every cousins' birthday and every aunt and uncles' anniversary.  There probably wasn't a month that we all didn't get together to celebrate something or someone.  I miss that!  I love all those memories!!

In both locations...remote, in the country, small farming community...I didn't get any cell phone reception!  That tells you how out of touch I was for most of the last 10 days.  It wasn't until we were in the hotel that I got service.  It's good to disconnect and just enjoy the calm, quiet and fellowship with your family for a few days.  And, it's fun to make new memories and share some of the games and good memories with the younger kids.  And yes, we are ALL getting old...ugh!

But, this was the longest I've been on vacation since I took two 2-week international trips for work several years ago.  10 days is a long time!  By the last 2-3 days we were all ready to get back home...and then that LONG drive back was such a tedious and did I mention LONG drive back?  I think we're all getting too old for the "drive all day long" trips anymore!  But, it was a blessing and a joy to spend time with our family and friends!  Those times are sadly rare and not often enough.  

So, I hope whatever vacation plans you have this summer, you enjoy every moment and cherish the new memories made with your family and friends.  These times don't come back and they don't happen as often as we'd like.  So, relax, have fun, disconnect and enjoy your vacation!!  Blessings for a safe and fun-filled summer!!

Sunday, July 12, 2015

I'm Hungary...

The first time I ever had Korean food was on a work trip to Raleigh, NC.  Yep, that's right...in Raleigh with my co-workers.  It was actually a Japanese/Korean restaurant, so there was a mix of cuisines there.  But, it was the first time I had ever had kimchi...and no, I didn't like it and still don't.  Sorry.  So, have you eaten food from your adopted country and what did you think?  How old were you when you tried it for the first time?  Do you cook traditional dishes now?

Because I grew up on meat and potatoes I don't really crave Asian food that often.  So, I don't have Korean food very often at all...partially because I don't know what to order and I don't know what I'd like and partially because I don't know where to go.  I need someone who knows where to go and what to order to go with me!  So, since I don't eat it very often I definitely don't cook it.  Someone from a company I used to work with gave me a Korean cook book when he left the company.  No, he wasn't Korean and he wasn't a cook/chef.  He was a white, inside sales rep.  Ha!  But, I haven't tried any recipes yet.  I think I still need some more exposure to the cuisine before I really know what I like and don't like.  So, if you have any tips, let me know!

Have a blessed and filling week ahead!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Curiosity Question

I've been wondering...was it easier as a kid growing up being adopted or do you find it easier as an adult?  Do you struggle with more questions about yourself now or when you were younger?  Were you able to handle those questions and doubts better as a child or now as an adult?  It's ALL a process and we're all on this journey called life...not just adopted children/adults, but all of us!  But, as I get older and wiser you'd think that I'd be better equip to deal with and handle "all those adoption" questions or insecurities.  I never had any issues with them growing up...that's due to the loving and supportive environment that I grew up in.  I wasn't confused and I didn't have "all those" questions" back then.  But, now as an adult I'm obviously more aware and sensitive to everything.  It's been interesting to think about.  And, it's all different for each one of us.

It's definitely a growing process and one that won't stop as we age...oh, joy, I know.  But, it also brings more self-awareness and mindfulness to what is true and of value in our lives.  Isn't that what we all crave as we get older?  To understand ourselves better, to fulfill our purpose in life the best we can and to enjoy the present moment?  It can definitely be a struggle with the daily responsibilities, pressures and frustrations.  But, it's something we can hope for, strive for...for a better life, a more rewarding and blessed life.

Whatever twists and turns your life has taken and will take, I hope you know you are blessed!  And, I hope you have a blessed day today and everyday!!

Sunday, July 5, 2015

I Believe!

I believe that we can win, I believe!!  Lets GO USA women at the World Cup Finals in Vancouver tonight!  I'm excited to watch the game...and watch our ladies bring home the championship!  They deserve it!

It's been fun watching their journey through the World Cup this year...their determination, belief in one another, aggressiveness, heart, and skill!  It's great to watch women rise to the occasion and fulfill their goals.  I know they've worked extremely hard to get to where they are and there's nothing like achieving your goals...with your team!

So, GO USA!!!  I believe that you will win!!

Have a blessed week ahead!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Happy July 4th!!

For those in the States, Happy July 4th weekend...coming up!  I'm ready for it!  Mainly because I'm taking some vacation...yippee!!  It's very much needed and coming at a good time.  What are your July 4th plans?

It's starting to heat up outside now which means summer is upon us and will only get hotter.  Not my favorite, but at least I have running air again after having to replace my A/C unit several weeks ago.  I seriously don't know how people did it in the old days without A/C!  

What summer traditions do you have?  What vacation plans do you have?  Are you a sun-worshipper and love being outside by the pool or some body of water all summer long?  When I was younger we would go to Ocean City, MD every summer and spend time on the beach, the boardwalk and my dad and brother would go fishing.  We have a lot of great memories from those trips!  

Whatever your plans are for the holiday weekend, I hope you and your family have a safe and happy time celebrating!  Enjoy the fireworks, BBQ, pool parties and great food with your family and friends!  Have a blessed 4th of July!!