Yes, English is my first, second and third language...thank you! I did take Spanish in high school, but that's only because I live in Texas. I figured it would come in handy now and again. But, I'm not sure how azul zapatos (blue shoes) is going to help me...weird the things we actually remember from school, huh?
This has only happened a handful of times, but the last time I was at Target and an Asian women walked a good distance straight towards me to ask me a question...in Chinese, I think. I told her I only spoke English. It was like she had her radar on to track down another Asian, found her mark and marched right up to me. I definitely felt sought out...but, then again disappointment or maybe shock for her that I wasn't "really Asian." I'm guessing she was asking me where something was in the store, but who really knows...well, maybe an Asian who speaks the language! Although this hasn't happened too many times, each time I have felt targeted...because I'm Asian. I know it's not in a bad way, but it just spreads the confusion of 'who I am' even further. Asians wondering why I don't speak their language and Caucasians wondering what Asian language I do speak! That's just the tip of the confusion I can cause.
I'm happy to help...whether you're Asian or not...but you have to speak English. Sorry, it's my only requirement...well, there might be others, but I'll keep that to myself. ;-)
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
And the Oscar Goes To....
Have you ever imagined that moment for yourself? "And the Oscar goes to....ME!" Ahh, the dreams of our childhood...or yesterday! I can't say that I ever had that dream...just the dream to walk down the red carpet in a FABULOUS couture dress with jewels dripping around my neck! Now, that's a dream every girl has had at one time or another.
Over the past several years, as society has driven more awareness (which may not be healthy awareness) or should we say obsessive media driven hyper-sensitivity about culture, sex or gender of nominees and/or winners at all of these award shows...we now notice what classification or group that is under-represented. Who will be the first gay winner? Or she's the first African-American winner...Asian winner...Native American winner, etc. Does it matter? I suppose it shows the progress we've made as a society in acceptance, appreciation and honoring the true art of a performance no matter who or what the person is. And, as the media goes we go because it's in our face 24/7 now with news media, smartphones, the internet, streaming media, and on and on. It never stops now, so there's always got to be a draw...an eye-catcher to get you to stop and read or listen. It's a vicious cycle that we're all sucked into!
So, just out of curiosity...has there ever been an Asian Oscar winner? Male or female? I'm assuming there have been nominees. So, as we all sit around in our pajamas tonight watching so-called glamorous actors and actresses strut down the red carpet, what will you be looking for....what they're wearing (of course!), diversity, or something else? Enjoy the show...and may the best actor win!
Over the past several years, as society has driven more awareness (which may not be healthy awareness) or should we say obsessive media driven hyper-sensitivity about culture, sex or gender of nominees and/or winners at all of these award shows...we now notice what classification or group that is under-represented. Who will be the first gay winner? Or she's the first African-American winner...Asian winner...Native American winner, etc. Does it matter? I suppose it shows the progress we've made as a society in acceptance, appreciation and honoring the true art of a performance no matter who or what the person is. And, as the media goes we go because it's in our face 24/7 now with news media, smartphones, the internet, streaming media, and on and on. It never stops now, so there's always got to be a draw...an eye-catcher to get you to stop and read or listen. It's a vicious cycle that we're all sucked into!
So, just out of curiosity...has there ever been an Asian Oscar winner? Male or female? I'm assuming there have been nominees. So, as we all sit around in our pajamas tonight watching so-called glamorous actors and actresses strut down the red carpet, what will you be looking for....what they're wearing (of course!), diversity, or something else? Enjoy the show...and may the best actor win!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
How Did You Know?
I'm always a bit astonished when someone guesses that I'm Korean...how did they know?! How could they tell? What physical feature gave it away? Whenever someone guesses right I always ask them how they knew. Most say they could just tell, but they can't tell me how or why and others seem to just take a lucky guess. Neither is very helpful to me since I can't tell one Asian from another. There! Yes, I said it! I can't tell us apart either!
But, what can you expect?! I didn't grow up around any Asians and was never really immersed into a huge group of Asians until I moved to northern California in my late 20's. That was the first time I had ever seen, more less been around more than a handful of Asians....except for an occasional visit to a Chinese restaurant, but I don't think that counts. So, I never really had the chance to study the different features of the various Asian ethnicities....until I started traveling all over Asia!
I was fortunate to be able to travel around Asia for work in my late 20's. It was an educational, eye-opening and cultural experience for me to say the least. I've been to Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Hong Kong, Taipei, Beijing, Tokyo, and Seoul. Being immersed in those cities, in those cultures for weeks on end allowed me to really see the faces and physical features of all those Asian ethnicities. Before my first international trip, I remember someone telling me how he could tell the difference in the different Asian ethnicities. He said Chinese people have flatter faces, Japanese people have droopier eyes and fuller lips, and Korean people have higher cheekbones. So, that's always been tucked away in the back of my head. And as I traveled and observed people in each country, I found that advice to be pretty true. However, it really depends on the region of a country that someone grew up in that might throw off that advice, but in a general sense I've found it pretty accurate. So, after my international trips I could normally tell where someone was from because of my heightened awareness. But, since I haven't traveled in Asia for many years now I'm less attuned to their physical features and would probably guess wrong 70% of the time.
I never usually ask people what their background is because they always ask me first. I guess they are more curious than I am or maybe it's just the thing to do...a way to start off a conversation...because that's how most conversations start with another Asian. "Where are you from?" Kind of like farmers who always talk about the weather! But, I must admit I am a little frustrated that no one has been able to tell me the one thing, the one feature that tells them I'm Korean. Heck, I probably wouldn't guess right if I didn't know myself!
But, what can you expect?! I didn't grow up around any Asians and was never really immersed into a huge group of Asians until I moved to northern California in my late 20's. That was the first time I had ever seen, more less been around more than a handful of Asians....except for an occasional visit to a Chinese restaurant, but I don't think that counts. So, I never really had the chance to study the different features of the various Asian ethnicities....until I started traveling all over Asia!
I was fortunate to be able to travel around Asia for work in my late 20's. It was an educational, eye-opening and cultural experience for me to say the least. I've been to Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Hong Kong, Taipei, Beijing, Tokyo, and Seoul. Being immersed in those cities, in those cultures for weeks on end allowed me to really see the faces and physical features of all those Asian ethnicities. Before my first international trip, I remember someone telling me how he could tell the difference in the different Asian ethnicities. He said Chinese people have flatter faces, Japanese people have droopier eyes and fuller lips, and Korean people have higher cheekbones. So, that's always been tucked away in the back of my head. And as I traveled and observed people in each country, I found that advice to be pretty true. However, it really depends on the region of a country that someone grew up in that might throw off that advice, but in a general sense I've found it pretty accurate. So, after my international trips I could normally tell where someone was from because of my heightened awareness. But, since I haven't traveled in Asia for many years now I'm less attuned to their physical features and would probably guess wrong 70% of the time.
I never usually ask people what their background is because they always ask me first. I guess they are more curious than I am or maybe it's just the thing to do...a way to start off a conversation...because that's how most conversations start with another Asian. "Where are you from?" Kind of like farmers who always talk about the weather! But, I must admit I am a little frustrated that no one has been able to tell me the one thing, the one feature that tells them I'm Korean. Heck, I probably wouldn't guess right if I didn't know myself!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Noticing 'the Difference'
After a fun-filled few days of birthday celebrations, it's time to come off the sugar high and adjust the taste buds back to steamed veggies and fresh fruit! Yea. But, after seeing how much fun,time and effort my three little nephews (7, 5, and 4) made into decorating (at my parents house) for my birthday 'surprise' it truly made my week! They were all sooo excited...it reminded me of how simple and innocently they still see things. But, when does that change? When do they start seeing the cynical world that we all see?
I never really sensed the question "Why are you so different from the rest of your family?" from my siblings growing up...surely they had some friends that asked that question, though. But, it was never brought up. So, I never really thought about it until a couple years ago my oldest nephew asked me "Kim, why do you only have 1 stocking hanging up?" at Christmastime. I told him "Because I live by myself in this house." That seemed to satisfy him. The next year the same nephew and I were riding in a car somewhere and he asked me "Kim, why don't you have a husband?" I was a little shocked by the question, but replied "Do you even know what a husband is?" He said "No." I didn't think so. So, now I'm waiting for the question "Kim, how come you look different from the rest of us?" Obviously all my nephews only see me as 'Auntie Kim', just as all my childhood friends see me as 'just Kim.' So, I'm assuming it will be one of their friends that interjects that question into their stream of consciousness "Hey, why does your Aunt look different than you?" They might not see it at first or completely understand why their friend is asking, but then they'll look harder and start to wonder. And then...the question.
I wish we could all see one another through those innocent eyes, but there are too many labels, classifications and prejudices out in the world now. So, I'm just waiting until that day when my nephews notice the difference to see how they'll react and what questions they'll really have of me. However, it's nice to be reminded of those times through the eyes of a child. So, I'm ready for whatever question comes next......
I never really sensed the question "Why are you so different from the rest of your family?" from my siblings growing up...surely they had some friends that asked that question, though. But, it was never brought up. So, I never really thought about it until a couple years ago my oldest nephew asked me "Kim, why do you only have 1 stocking hanging up?" at Christmastime. I told him "Because I live by myself in this house." That seemed to satisfy him. The next year the same nephew and I were riding in a car somewhere and he asked me "Kim, why don't you have a husband?" I was a little shocked by the question, but replied "Do you even know what a husband is?" He said "No." I didn't think so. So, now I'm waiting for the question "Kim, how come you look different from the rest of us?" Obviously all my nephews only see me as 'Auntie Kim', just as all my childhood friends see me as 'just Kim.' So, I'm assuming it will be one of their friends that interjects that question into their stream of consciousness "Hey, why does your Aunt look different than you?" They might not see it at first or completely understand why their friend is asking, but then they'll look harder and start to wonder. And then...the question.
I wish we could all see one another through those innocent eyes, but there are too many labels, classifications and prejudices out in the world now. So, I'm just waiting until that day when my nephews notice the difference to see how they'll react and what questions they'll really have of me. However, it's nice to be reminded of those times through the eyes of a child. So, I'm ready for whatever question comes next......
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Birthday Week!
Apparently people around my age (go ahead with your guesses), celebrate their birthdays with week-long celebrations. Hellllloooo, where have I been? I've been getting ripped off! I've been taking my one day and moving on...whereas, I could have been extending the party and planning fun after fun after fun! Let the new tradition begin!
However, having a holiday for your birthday is always a challenge. You always feel like you're sharing your birthday with everyone else because everyone else is out celebrating that holiday. So restaurants are booked, flowers are more expensive, and you never truly get your 'one' special day that is completely yours. So, you have to wait another week to really plan a party or wait until everyone else is done celebrating that holiday. But, with the week-long celebration idea it might be more conducive to perpetuating that 'one' special day feeling without the holiday flare. Hmmm...I'm liking this idea more and more! Alright, friends and family...get ready!
But, as another birthday comes and goes this week I stop to reflect on the year that has passed and the year ahead. Last year was eye-opening for me as I learned more life lessons in one year than ever before and I definitely grew in my trust and relationship with God. Those lessons and strengthened faith in God's grace has propelled me into the new year with full gusto! It's been a true whirlwind since the beginning of the year with new changes, new surprises, new people, new opportunities and truly endless possibilities. But, in all the fast and fury of it all I have to pause, take time to thank God for all his bounty and give back as much as I can. To be truly present in each and every moment, to take it in and to never take a moment for granted. We hear it all the time, but it's much harder to practice on a day to day basis. The hustle and bustle of everyday life gets in the way...and that's part of the realization...maybe there's too much hustle and bustle.
I wish each of you a Happy Valentine's Day and appreciate all of your love and support in the glorious year ahead!!!
However, having a holiday for your birthday is always a challenge. You always feel like you're sharing your birthday with everyone else because everyone else is out celebrating that holiday. So restaurants are booked, flowers are more expensive, and you never truly get your 'one' special day that is completely yours. So, you have to wait another week to really plan a party or wait until everyone else is done celebrating that holiday. But, with the week-long celebration idea it might be more conducive to perpetuating that 'one' special day feeling without the holiday flare. Hmmm...I'm liking this idea more and more! Alright, friends and family...get ready!
But, as another birthday comes and goes this week I stop to reflect on the year that has passed and the year ahead. Last year was eye-opening for me as I learned more life lessons in one year than ever before and I definitely grew in my trust and relationship with God. Those lessons and strengthened faith in God's grace has propelled me into the new year with full gusto! It's been a true whirlwind since the beginning of the year with new changes, new surprises, new people, new opportunities and truly endless possibilities. But, in all the fast and fury of it all I have to pause, take time to thank God for all his bounty and give back as much as I can. To be truly present in each and every moment, to take it in and to never take a moment for granted. We hear it all the time, but it's much harder to practice on a day to day basis. The hustle and bustle of everyday life gets in the way...and that's part of the realization...maybe there's too much hustle and bustle.
I wish each of you a Happy Valentine's Day and appreciate all of your love and support in the glorious year ahead!!!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Just Kim!
Over the years, many of my childhood and high school friends have seen me as "just Kim!" Not as my Asian friend or my Korean friend or my adopted friend. Heck, some of my friends didn't even know I was adopted until they started reading this blog! That goes back to me being "just Kim!"
I never really thought much about it growing up because I was just being myself...and as we all know, that can be hard enough (especially through the teenage years). But, it amazes me now (a little) and then again not that sooo many of my friends over the last month or so have told me they always (and still) see me as "just Kim!" I love that!
Even though they may have known my older brother or at least who he was in high school (since he was a senior when I was a freshman)...they never had 'that' question pop up in their heads, "How is that possible?" Really? I just always assumed people knew because it was so obvious...at least to me, so I never really talked about it. But, apparently I blend in better than I thought! In all reality, it was probably because I never 'acted' Asian. I was like every other white kid in school so that's what they saw...they saw me...who I truly am! And, that's ALL goodness! That's all we can really ask of ourselves...now and in the future. Just be ourselves!
Most of the time you never really know how people see you unless you ask them directly, so to know that people are looking past my physical appearance and can see the person I have been, am and will be is again a testament to my upbringing. Solid reassurance, acceptance and support. It allowed me to be 'just me."
And yes, even my friends who knew my parents or saw me at practices, games, dance classes, etc. with them either never questioned it because I was "just Kim" to them or they never asked the question out loud. So, when I really stop to think about it...how people have seen me over the years...it's really a gift to know that people have truly seen "just me." So, for those of you who have seen me as "just Kim" over the years, I hope that never changes! Thanks...you've made me smile! :-)
I never really thought much about it growing up because I was just being myself...and as we all know, that can be hard enough (especially through the teenage years). But, it amazes me now (a little) and then again not that sooo many of my friends over the last month or so have told me they always (and still) see me as "just Kim!" I love that!
Even though they may have known my older brother or at least who he was in high school (since he was a senior when I was a freshman)...they never had 'that' question pop up in their heads, "How is that possible?" Really? I just always assumed people knew because it was so obvious...at least to me, so I never really talked about it. But, apparently I blend in better than I thought! In all reality, it was probably because I never 'acted' Asian. I was like every other white kid in school so that's what they saw...they saw me...who I truly am! And, that's ALL goodness! That's all we can really ask of ourselves...now and in the future. Just be ourselves!
Most of the time you never really know how people see you unless you ask them directly, so to know that people are looking past my physical appearance and can see the person I have been, am and will be is again a testament to my upbringing. Solid reassurance, acceptance and support. It allowed me to be 'just me."
And yes, even my friends who knew my parents or saw me at practices, games, dance classes, etc. with them either never questioned it because I was "just Kim" to them or they never asked the question out loud. So, when I really stop to think about it...how people have seen me over the years...it's really a gift to know that people have truly seen "just me." So, for those of you who have seen me as "just Kim" over the years, I hope that never changes! Thanks...you've made me smile! :-)
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
One in the Same?
I was recently in a 2-day training class with 2 instructors and around 10 people...including one other Asian girl. I'm not sure what nationality she was, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't Korean. She was a younger girl fresh out of college trying to figure out what to do with her life next...ohhh, the possibilities! I talked to her several times and she was very sweet, but also a little timid (reference last post). After we finished training, I had passed by the 2 instructors and one of them shouted out "Hi (whatever the other girl's name was)!" The other instructor quickly corrected her and said "Hi Kim!" Hellloooo, we all don't look alike! There are differences, people! Pay attention!
I get that more often than not! Especially when there's only 2 of us (Asians) it seems to be completely confusing to people...even if one is wearing glasses and one isn't or one has short hair and the other doesn't. Do we really ALL look alike?! Come on! I mean, how mind-boggling must it be when there's more than 2 Asians in the room! Try 10! Try 20! Of course, if you yelled out Kim or Lee or Chin you'd probably get at least one response. But, is it really that hard to tell us apart or are you not paying enough attention to who you are talking to or what? What's the deal?
I suppose I could dye my hair a totally rad color (hahaha) or piece something else on my face or get some sort of tattoo to differentiate myself....BUT, that's not going to happen. So, if you're talking to me...pay attention...be present...and remember we're ALL different! Really.
I get that more often than not! Especially when there's only 2 of us (Asians) it seems to be completely confusing to people...even if one is wearing glasses and one isn't or one has short hair and the other doesn't. Do we really ALL look alike?! Come on! I mean, how mind-boggling must it be when there's more than 2 Asians in the room! Try 10! Try 20! Of course, if you yelled out Kim or Lee or Chin you'd probably get at least one response. But, is it really that hard to tell us apart or are you not paying enough attention to who you are talking to or what? What's the deal?
I suppose I could dye my hair a totally rad color (hahaha) or piece something else on my face or get some sort of tattoo to differentiate myself....BUT, that's not going to happen. So, if you're talking to me...pay attention...be present...and remember we're ALL different! Really.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Bold or Meek?
After finishing my work-out at the gym yesterday, I heard a lady slamming locker doors shut trying to get them to lock. I peeked around the corner and told her when she slams the doors her card would pop out of the slot and she wouldn't be able to lock it, so don't slam the door. I heard her keep trying and saying "This one doesn't work. This one doesn't work." She was an Asian lady probably in her early 50's. A few minutes later I heard her explaining to one of the girl's who worked there (a younger Asian girl, ironically) that she couldn't get the locker to lock. The girl told her she needed a card to make to make it lock. I thought "She doesn't even have a card! Oh jeez!" I was so distracted by this little old Asian lady that I left my heart rate monitor strap there and had to drive all the way back to the gym later to retrieve it!
But, it made me think...the perception of most Asians, women in particular, are that they are quiet, shy, timid and yes, subservient introverts. Most of the time I consider myself an introvert, but most people who know me now, especially at work find that hard to believe. Growing up, I definitely was and was definitely shy and quiet. I think I played that part to an extent in my teenage years...one, because I knew that was a trait of Asian girls and two, because I was going through those awkward teenage years. But, after I started my first full-time job after college I grew more outspoken, aggressive and confident. I could walk into a room where I knew no one and strike up a conversation and schmooze with the best of them. Those experiences allowed me to come out of my shell and show my fun-loving, take charge personality. But there are still times when the quiet, shy side of me wants to just sit in the background, observe and not be bothered. So, is that considered my Asian traits kicking in or just my "American" personality taking over? Does it really matter? Not really, but sometimes it makes me wonder.
But, it made me think...the perception of most Asians, women in particular, are that they are quiet, shy, timid and yes, subservient introverts. Most of the time I consider myself an introvert, but most people who know me now, especially at work find that hard to believe. Growing up, I definitely was and was definitely shy and quiet. I think I played that part to an extent in my teenage years...one, because I knew that was a trait of Asian girls and two, because I was going through those awkward teenage years. But, after I started my first full-time job after college I grew more outspoken, aggressive and confident. I could walk into a room where I knew no one and strike up a conversation and schmooze with the best of them. Those experiences allowed me to come out of my shell and show my fun-loving, take charge personality. But there are still times when the quiet, shy side of me wants to just sit in the background, observe and not be bothered. So, is that considered my Asian traits kicking in or just my "American" personality taking over? Does it really matter? Not really, but sometimes it makes me wonder.
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