Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving (to all those in the United States)!!  Enjoy time with your family and friends...watching the parades and football, eating and sharing new memories.  Have a blessed day and thank you for following my story through this blog!

Sunday, November 24, 2013

To Divulge or Not To Divulge....

Our first wintry storm of the year...or so they said.  It's been cold, a few sprinkles, but no sleet, freezing rain or ice that had been forecasted.  So, this morning the decision to take my oldest nephew on his day-long outing/sleepover that I've promised him since his birthday in early October was in jeopardy.  But, after seeing the rain was going to hold off most of the day I decided it was a go!  

He almost bolted for my car as I arrived at his house to pick him up this morning.  He was definitely ready to go!  First, lunch...then, the Perot Museum of Nature and Science.  He loved it!  He enjoyed the energy exhibit, the mineral exhibit and experiencing an actual earthquake simulation.  He was a bundle of energy never taking a breath for non-stop conversation all day!  

On the way back home, we stopped at Wal-Mart so we could purchase food to donate to my church's food pantry.  I told my nephew to bring $2 with him.  He had no idea what it was for.  I explained to him what we were doing, why we were doing it and why it was important to give back.  He had no objections.  He totally understood and enjoyed trying to find as much food as possible for our budget (which was more than the $2 he brought).  I think it was a great lesson for him and I'm happy he was so enthused to participate!  Thankful for our day today, but especially for that moment.

I also mentioned to him that Mom and I had done a book signing at my church the previous Sunday.  I was about to mention to him the family that we had met who had adopted 2 children from South Korea, but in mid-sentence I stopped myself.  He doesn't know I'm adopted.  He doesn't even know what adoption is.  Was this the time to tell him?  I decided it wasn't.  He's still young, innocent and just sees me as his fun, cool aunt.  I think that's enough for now.  Life and all the social dramas that occur will come soon enough, but for now I just want him to be a kid.  To enjoy life as it is...simple, carefree and full of wonder!

As the day winds down, I'm pretty sure he hasn't yet...so, fun activities are still in order!  However, he did tell me he'd rather watch HGTV than the Wizard of Oz that is on tonight.  What?!  That's a classic!  Ohhh the generations, how they change!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Church Book Signing

This past Sunday I did a book signing at my church...4 hours, 5 services!  Thankfully my mom was there to help me!  It honestly didn't feel like 4 hours, though, because there was a steady stream of people passing by showing their gratitude that I had come to sell my book there.  We set up in front of the gift/book store and enjoyed talking to those who bought my book and even those who came by just to inquire about it.  Ironically (a testament to why I named my blog "Ironies of an All-American Life as a Korean Adoptee"), the only actual adopted children I met had been adopted from South Korea.  There were several individuals who bought a book who had relatives or knew someone who had adopted, but the one family we actually met had adopted from South Korea.  Go figure!  A 10 year old boy and a 9 year old girl...both very sweet, well-mannered and polite.  It was fun to talk to them and tell them about my book.

That book signing was exactly what I needed after the last two disappointments.  Not only did I sell more books than the last two (albeit that wouldn't have been hard), the environment was loving, kind and full of support.  I'm very grateful for the reassurance boost!

In a previous post, I mentioned an older Korean couple that attend one of the services I usually attend who sit down the pew from me.  We've always said "hi" to one another and the women did ask me once if I was Korean, but that's been the extent of our conversation.  I've always wondered how and when they started attending my church because I've really only known older Koreans to be strictly traditional in their customs and religion.  Meaning, they would only attend Korean churches and I know there are several in the metroplex.  So, it's always been a little perplexing to me to see them there almost every Sunday.  They came by our table on Sunday and she immediately came up to talk to us.  Surprised that it was "me" sitting there because she had seen the promotions of my book signing in the newsletter and bulletins, but didn't realize it was the Korean girl who always sat on the same pew as them.  And of course, she was interested in meeting my mom.  As she stood at the table buying a book and chatting with us her husband stood in the background.  He did not come up to talk to us, but I did nod my head at him.  That's the traditional culture I've become accustomed to.  It was definitely an interesting situation and who knows what they'll think of my book, but I hope they share their feedback with me after they finish reading it.  I am absolutely curious and interested in their thoughts and perceptions of Korean adoptees.  It's truly the unknown for me...understanding and getting feedback from non-adopted Koreans on what they think of adoption, Korean adoptees, and how the culture views it now. 

So, although part of my intent for writing my book was to educate non-adoptees on what it's like to be adopted I look forward to being educated on what non-adopted Koreans think of Korean adoptees.  So, please share your thoughts (to anyone who has purchased and read my book) because I would love to hear from you!  Blessings to you this week!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Thankful for...

During this month of "thanks" it's a great reminder of those things we often take for granted...like our health!  But, taking a small moment each day to find gratitude and thanksgiving should be a year-long habit not just during the month of November (for those in the U.S. where the Thanksgiving holiday is in November).  More often than not when I say my prayers each night they ARE filled with all those things I was thankful for that day, so I've definitely tried to make it a habit.  And, it's a good habit!  To look at the good (no matter how big or small) in each day should invade more of our thoughts than what we don't have/what we should be doing/what we forgot to do/how we're not enough/etc.  It's those realities of everyday life that we all focus on constantly.  It's become our way of life.  It's normal.  But, we're not nurturing ourselves with those continuous thoughts.  We're not lifting ourselves up and looking toward the light each and every day.  It's hard, don't get me wrong, but it's that small paradigm shift that we all need to just bring a little more light into our lives, to lighten the load of everyday stresses, to give ourselves permission to make mistakes, to not be perfect.

We need to give ourselves the chance to let our LIGHTS SHINE!!!  Each one of us has an inner light, a gift from God that we were placed on this earth to share.  Yes, it's finding meaning and purpose in our life and living the life we are passionate about.  We've all heard it a thousand times, but how long have you really sat down and thought about it?  Did some soul-searching?  Made sacrifices or the 'path less traveled' decision?  It's not all roses, but finding our passion in life is like a daily garden of fresh roses....blooming, sharing our beauty and fragrance to all we meet.

Adding to my daily moment of "thanks"....I'm thankful for the book signing at my church today and the 4 hours my mom spent with me to cover all 5 services.  Thankful to the strangers who bought a book, shared their stories, helped carry the boxes from my car, and simply showed appreciation for me being there.  It's just what I needed...a little boost for the soul.  Blessings to you this coming week!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

In a Fog...

It's my 100th post!  Wow!  It certainly doesn't seem like I've written 100 posts, but here we are.  Thank you SO much for following me and investing your time in my story!!  I really appreciate it!

And, sorry for the late post...I've been sick this week and I've been in a bit of a fog this week.  Gradually, each day I'd get another symptom and feel a little worse.  Yesterday was the first day I woke up and didn't feel worse than the day before.  And today, I'm definitely starting to feel better...still tired with lingering symptoms, but better.

My head is not the only thing that has felt like it's been in a fog lately.  Nothing seems particularly clear right now.  The holidays are coming up, so the rush and the madness of decorating, buying presents, parties, cooking, etc are upon us.  But, I've been in one of those reflective moods lately...moreso looking to the future and what that holds.  I have no idea!  I think I just need to center myself a bit and truly look inward to find what will drive me to the next "thing"...whatever that may be.  I don't think I'm going through that mid-life crisis that so many men go through and I don't think I'm at a crossroads (yet)...I just feel like I've been "getting through it" all.  I've been trying to take it all in, enjoy those special moments (like my 1st book signing in my hometown), but I don't think I've processed everything that has happened in the last couple months and what it truly means to me.  I know what it means to me 'on the surface', but what has what I've accomplished this year and what I've been through mean to me?  Maybe part of that answer will come to me as I continue to get feedback on my book and what people thought of it.  My story is out there now so knowing that people have a better understanding of what it's like to be adopted or can relate to some of the stories only gives me a greater perspective of what I've been able to do this year.  Those are the blessings that help me realize my accomplishment.  But everyday, I do feel blessed and grateful for this life and the gifts I have to offer to others.  Maybe my next "thing" is just making sure I LET MY LIGHT SHINE each and every day!!  Blessings to you this week!

Sunday, November 10, 2013

At a Standstill....

I knew this endeavor wouldn't be all roses...as a matter of fact, I was just hoping for a single rose because anything more than that would be overwhelming/too much to consider/the cherry, whip cream and sprinkles on top!  I knew there would be bumps in the road (all new paths have them) and it wasn't going to be easy because I had a lot to learn along the way.  This has all proven true (as with any endeavor), but right now I'm at a standstill.  Two book signings and very low to no turnout.  Disappointed.  Sad. 

Defeated?  No!  Learning experience?  Yes!  It's still just the beginning and yes, I'm learning every step of the way.  Who knew I'd even be where I am today?  I wrote a book...ok, not so hard to believe (at least in my head).  I got it published...ok, a little surprising and completely unbelievable if I really think about it!  I'm an author...what?!?!  Ok, that hasn't totally sunk in yet but maybe if I say it enough times it'll click. 

Now, how to hit the right market?  Or maybe I have (or at least skimmed it), but why haven't they bought the book yet?  If you've been following my blog and haven't gone on my website to buy my book yet why not?  What's stopping you?  What do I need to do?

In this month of "thanks", I'm thankful for feeling God's presence in my soul this morning at church...reminding me of his presence in my life and that I am worthy.  If I had not received that message this morning before my latest book signing that resulted in no one showing up my reaction and state of mind right now would probably be totally different.  I would probably only see the thorns in my single rose and shower myself with self pity.  Instead I see the light shining down on my rose...light that has helped it grow and light that will continue to let it blossom.  God's light is ever-present!  Blessings to you this week!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

National Adoption Month!

It's National Adoption Month!  What does that mean to me?  Adoption was my salvation...my destiny.  It saved me, it was/is part of my path in this life and is part of who I am...but, it's not WHO I am.  Meaning, adoption/being adopted doesn't completely define who I am.  Yes, it's a part of who I am, but the soul that I was born with is WHO I am.  The spirit of my soul is my true authentic self and I haven't completely uncovered or know who that is yet...that's what this journey of life is all about...to discover WHO I truly am.  To grow, dig deep and trust in the spirit within to lead me through this journey.

National Adoption Month sheds a light on the plight of abandoned children.  Children who NEED forever homes!  Children who need open hearts, loving parents and a nurturing environment to thrive in.  It reminds us of all the innocent children who have suffered, who don't have consistent or constant care, or the undivided attention of loving parents.  All children deserve to have the opportunity to live in a safe and healthy environment, but that's not the reality for many.

So, as the next few weeks lead up to the hectic days of the holidays, remember to simply say a prayer for all those children that need a forever home...or donate money to a child in need...or spend some time volunteering for an organization that supports adoption or foster care.  We can all make a difference in a child's life! 

Remember, you can purchase my debut book, Corn-fed with Rice on the Side, at www.kimfenneman.com!

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Turning the Clocks Back...

Fall back...hopefully you remembered to set your clocks for daylight savings time last night.  I forgot!  So, I got up ready to go work-out thinking man, I wish I had an extra hour of sleep, and then I saw the time on my phone...dangit!  I could've had an extra hour of sleep!  Now, I'm up and ready to go.  Oh well, the early bird gets the worm, right?  Well, in that case, work-out done, a couple loads of laundry going and a little bit of cooking going for the week...all before going to church this morning!  That's what I'm talking about!  Oh, and maybe a nap later in the day...probably when it turns dark out at 5:30!  I always dislike that first week of it getting dark early.  But, for a morning person like myself the sunrise earlier in the morning is always a beautiful sight!

This is my favorite time of year...Fall!!!  I love the cooler weather, the changing leaves, the crisp air, all the pumpkin food and drinks, craft fairs, thinking about the holidays but not in the frenzy of it yet, and watching football/hockey/basketball!  Ahhh, I love it all! 

But, I've also been having flashbacks of growing up on the farm recently.  The carefree days of running around the farm, going down by the creek for picnics/cutting down trees in the woods for firewood/canoeing/fire pits for smores/Christmas caroling around town.  All the joys of my youth!  Simple times.  Happy times.  And all the people that fill those memories.  Family and friends that showed up for my 1st book signing in town at the library and even those that didn't.  My friend's parents that I spent so much time with and all the parties my parents had with them at our house.  All my cousins...all the family get-togethers, holidays, reunions...we were all truly blessed to have spent so much time together just as a family!  I've been thinking a lot about that lately.  Thinking about different moments/memories of each of my cousins...not purposely seeking them out or trying to remember them, just popping in my head as I'm driving here and there.  Turning back the time on fond memories that remind me of where I came from...precious, endearing, truly thankful!!!  Wishing you a blessed week ahead!