Always Looking Ahead....

You hear all the time to "be mindful and be present...be in the moment" which refers to living for the now and not the past or the future.  That's a hard and on-going lesson I think we all struggle with at times.  We're just doing what we have to or need to do at the moment and not really being mindful about it.  For the most part, I truly do look ahead and not in the past.  I'm a planner by nature so I'm always looking ahead and trying to plan everything out.  So, of course most of my frustrations come when things don't work out as I've planned them to, however, I have gotten better about it over the past several years...and yes, it's a choice you have to make so that you don't waste time or energy on being upset.

In my teenage and college years I did look back to the past a lot...wondering and worrying about things I couldn't change, wishing I could do things differently, picking a part my actions or things I said...all those analytical mind games that many of us play that get us nowhere.  It is useless to worry about the past because we can't change it.  We can only learn from it, be better and move on.  Yes, move on!!

So, I'm saddened when I see posts on Facebook by many Korean adoptees about how their past largely affects their present.  Yes, it's part of their histories but it doesn't mean you have to let it affect your current state of being.  It can only affect you if you let it.  Honestly, I've never agonized over being adopted or all the implications that comes with that because there's nothing I can do about it.  I've just always been grateful to be adopted in a loving family and have the life that I've had.  No matter what our circumstances, backgrounds, etc. they don't have to define your life.  It's part of your life, but that's not WHO you ARE!  You don't go up to new people and say, "Hi, I'm Kim.  I'm adopted."  That's not who you are!  You're corky, funny, loving, generous, strong-willed, etc...that's who you are!  Just as our professions aren't who we are...they are just what we do!

So, don't let your past control your present or your future!  Let it give you knowledge and education as to where you are from, but not who you are or aren't!  Be YOU!!!  Be who you want to be...not who you think others think you should be or what you think an Asian should be...just be YOU!  That's all you have to do!

Take a deep breath, be mindful of this moment and be excited about who you will become tomorrow!  Blessings to you on your journey to finding out who YOU are!!