Should I....

Should I send my adopted child to class to learn his/her native language?  Should I send the rest of my birth kids to learn my adoptive child's native language?  Should I send my adoptive child to camps related to their culture?  Should I cook authentic food from their culture?  Should I expose them to as much of their culture as I can?  Those are just a few of the questions I've received over the years from adoptive parents.  I always tell them I can't tell them how to be a parent or what to do because it's really up to them on how they want to raise their child...all I can do is share my experiences with them, how I was raised and what my perspective is on being adopted.  And I hope by sharing my experiences with them that they feel more confident in the decisions they make because they've gathered more information and can see what impact it's made in my life.

Again, they're just my opinions and my experiences and it's different for everyone.  And, they don't have to agree with or do what my parents did with me growing up, but at least they can see and hear it from my perspective and then make a more informed decision.  As I've mentioned before, my parents raised me as a normal American kid, not as an Asian kid or an Asian adopted kid...but, just like the rest of my siblings.  So, I didn't know I was any different and I wasn't treated any differently by anyone else.  They also knew that when and if I had questions I would come to them and they would provide the best answers they could when that time came....meaning, they didn't shove my culture in my face.  And, looking back I'm grateful for that because I think I would have had more questions about who I was and why my birth parents didn't want me or had issues with abandonment.  Again, there are a lot of factors to consider when broaching these subjects with your adopted child and it's a decision that all parents have to make on their own.  None are right or wrong.  All parents try to raise their kids the best way they know how, so there's no judgment here.  I'm just stating my opinion from my life experiences.  If I had been exposed more to the culture or the language growing up I think I would have been more confused and might of had more self-identity and self-esteem issues growing up.  Since I didn't have that exposure, I didn't have those feelings of being different or why did I look different or where did I come from.  None of those questions ever crossed my mind growing up and that was a blessing.  I've always been secure in who I was...even as an adoptee.  That's somewhat rare and hard to come by if you really think about all the questions and unknowns an adoptive child has to go through throughout their lifetime.

So, continue to ask me the questions.  I really don't mind.  I'm happy to help, if I can, or at least give you one adoptee's perspective.  And, that's the intent of my book....to help give everyone a view into the daily life of an adopted child and how I found humor in those everyday situations that may seem so mundane or ordinary for non-adoptees.