Sunday, April 28, 2013

Obligation or Not?

Remember the days of having no real responsibilities as a kid and just enjoying life as it came?  And then, every year it seemed like we gained more and more responsibilities...until all of our responsibilities filled up our daily lives and directed or shaped our daily decisions.  We're all responsible for ourselves, something, someone, etc.  So, as I approach the release of my first book new questions arise that I've asked myself but haven't answered yet.

I never set out to write a book or become an author.  That was never my intention.  My intention was just to see how many stories about being adopted I could write down.  But, as I began to recount story after story about my experiences of being adopted the thought of it actually becoming a book crossed my mind.  I knew my stories took a more fun and light-hearted view into being adopted than any book currently out there, so it would be different and unique.  That's good!  I knew other adoptees would be able to relate to my stories and I knew non-adoptees would get a greater understanding of what it's like to be adopted through more relatable stories.  Soooo, maybe I was onto something.  Could this really be a book?  Why not?!?!

Do I have an obligation or a responsibility to share my story?  Just because I'm adopted and just because I've had such a "normal" and successful life, am I obligated to share that with other adoptees?  I hope this book does inspire and give hope to other adoptees...but, do I have a responsibility to share my story?  Or am I just putting that burden on myself...whether this book is successful or not.  But when I wrote the book, I didn't think about any of that.  I was just enjoying writing down fond, funny, and frantic memories of growing up.  I wasn't thinking about any obligations I might have to others or if this book would be successful or not. 

Success is measured differently for everyone.  At this point, just getting my book published is a success...no matter how many people actually buy my book.  I can always say I published a book and add author to my title (another one of those labels we like to give ourselves and others).  So for me, striving to do something new, something unimaginable is what life is all about.  Continuing to grow, challenge myself, learn something new, do something new, and come out on the other side with life lessons, growing pains or great success!  That's what I hope to continue to do throughout my lifetime!  Conquer fear of failure or "what if's" and just charge ahead with hope, determination and resiliency! 

So, I'm not sure I can answer the obligation question yet, but I think I'll get a clearer picture after my book is published, is out there for inspiration or criticism from the world and I get feedback from you!  If I touch just one other adoptee with hope or a laugh, or an adoptive parent with a nod and a smile, or a non-adoptee with a more accepting heart and brighter eyes towards adoption through my stories than it was worth it! 

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Remembered Joy

I saw this Irish Blessing and thought it appropriate after the loss of life (in Boston and West, Texas) last week.  May your week be blessed, may your days be bright, and may your hours be cherished.  Peace to you all!

Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free!
I follow the plan God laid for me.
I saw His face, I heard His call,
I took His hand and left it all…
I could not stay another day,
To love, to laugh, to work or play;
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
And if my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss…
Ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss.
My life’s been full, I’ve savoured much:
Good times, good friends, a loved-one’s touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief—
Don’t shorten yours with undue grief.
Be not burdened with tears of sorrow,
Enjoy the sunshine of the morrow.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Has it only been a week?!

What an unbelievable week it's been.  It started off with the horrific bombings at the Boston Marathon where so many innocent lives were shattered and 3 lives were lost, then the manhunt for suspects ensued, and then the tragic explosion at the fertilizer plant in West, Texas.  What devastation and incredible impact on one small town.  Then I was riveted to the t.v. (like I had been on 9/11/11) to the dramatic end and capture of the Boston bombing suspect.  Did that all happen in just one week?!

It seems like 3 weeks all wrapped up into one!  I'm not sure I've had time to process it all yet!  No time to sit and think about all the sadness, loss and uncertainty of it all...not with the usual riggers of everyday life that gets in the way...work, family, unexpected surprises.  My unexpected surprise just occurred late yesterday afternoon when a squirrel got caught in my garage door as it was opening.  Yes, it wasn't a pretty picture...not that I was looking.  Disgusting!  Ewww, it gives me the creeps!  And it also gave me an unexpected expense to pay when it jacked up my garage door and left the cable wires twisted and the door hanging halfway off it's track.  Gee, thanks a lot!  I've had a dead bird (hit my back window and die instantly), a dead bunny (that I don't mind so much since they are everywhere and eat my plants) and now a dead squirrel.  I think my dead animal quota is now full! 

But, how do we get through a week like this?  How do we see the world differently after events like this?  How does it change us?  I imagine most of us get through it with family and friends.  And, how we see things and how it changes us is different for everyone and for each of us to decide on our own.  Lets hope next week is boring!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Heartbreak this week...

How can you make sense of what's happened this week?  The senselessness, the horror, the devastation, the heartbreak...first, the bombings at the Boston marathon and last night the explosion at the fertilizer plant in a small town in Texas.  The shock, disbelief, sadness and grief...sooo many emotions this week.  How do we process it all?  It's too much...especially with the 24 hour cable news cycle that doesn't let you breathe without hearing something about it.  Although these things may never make sense, all we can do is care for, support and love one another...stand back up...and be stronger and more resilient than ever!  That's who we are and that's what we do!  We are ONE nation under God! 

Take the heartache you've felt this week and do something to serve others in your neighborhood, in your workplace, in your schools and churches and show the POWER of kindness to one another!  Forget the labels we've placed on one another...left, right, rich, poor, this, that...we are all human beings, one in the same.  Be kind.  Be respectful.  Be a proud American!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Pray for Peace

Please pray for peace, wisdom and leadership in those countries that provoke, incite and cast out fear amongst their people and their neighbors.  May God's grace and redeeming power be cast upon those countries.  Peace be with North Korea, South Korea, Syria, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Should I....

Should I send my adopted child to class to learn his/her native language?  Should I send the rest of my birth kids to learn my adoptive child's native language?  Should I send my adoptive child to camps related to their culture?  Should I cook authentic food from their culture?  Should I expose them to as much of their culture as I can?  Those are just a few of the questions I've received over the years from adoptive parents.  I always tell them I can't tell them how to be a parent or what to do because it's really up to them on how they want to raise their child...all I can do is share my experiences with them, how I was raised and what my perspective is on being adopted.  And I hope by sharing my experiences with them that they feel more confident in the decisions they make because they've gathered more information and can see what impact it's made in my life.

Again, they're just my opinions and my experiences and it's different for everyone.  And, they don't have to agree with or do what my parents did with me growing up, but at least they can see and hear it from my perspective and then make a more informed decision.  As I've mentioned before, my parents raised me as a normal American kid, not as an Asian kid or an Asian adopted kid...but, just like the rest of my siblings.  So, I didn't know I was any different and I wasn't treated any differently by anyone else.  They also knew that when and if I had questions I would come to them and they would provide the best answers they could when that time came....meaning, they didn't shove my culture in my face.  And, looking back I'm grateful for that because I think I would have had more questions about who I was and why my birth parents didn't want me or had issues with abandonment.  Again, there are a lot of factors to consider when broaching these subjects with your adopted child and it's a decision that all parents have to make on their own.  None are right or wrong.  All parents try to raise their kids the best way they know how, so there's no judgment here.  I'm just stating my opinion from my life experiences.  If I had been exposed more to the culture or the language growing up I think I would have been more confused and might of had more self-identity and self-esteem issues growing up.  Since I didn't have that exposure, I didn't have those feelings of being different or why did I look different or where did I come from.  None of those questions ever crossed my mind growing up and that was a blessing.  I've always been secure in who I was...even as an adoptee.  That's somewhat rare and hard to come by if you really think about all the questions and unknowns an adoptive child has to go through throughout their lifetime.

So, continue to ask me the questions.  I really don't mind.  I'm happy to help, if I can, or at least give you one adoptee's perspective.  And, that's the intent of my book....to help give everyone a view into the daily life of an adopted child and how I found humor in those everyday situations that may seem so mundane or ordinary for non-adoptees.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Book Update!

A quick update on the progress of my first book being published this year!  I'm expecting the first proof of my book in the next couple of weeks!  Another step to making this a reality.  Wow!  And, another step in convincing me this is really happening!  So, I'm interested to see what, if any, changes they've made to my manuscript...and, it'll be interesting to see what changes I'll make since I haven't set eyes on it for several months.  The final few tweaks to make it just right...however, I have found in my many edits of my manuscript that I could edit it and edit it and edit it to death!  At some point you just have to know when to stop!  I'm sure all authors have gone through that. 

In the meantime, I've been contemplating cover designs.  Luckily, I have someone who has provided me several options and is working with me to create just the right one!  It's definitely a hard process!  Who knew it would be so hard to find just the right creative that defines my book...and ultimately me!  So, I'll be glad when I finally make the final decision on that part! 

Stay tuned for more updates on the book!!!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

North vs. South

The tensions between North Korea and South Korea have risen in the past several weeks.  Why?  There's always been tension between the two neighbors, but with the 24 hour cable news cycle the way it is now it seems like these tensions are more serious than ever before.  Again, why?  Is it because the new leader in North Korea is trying to make a statement about his ability to lead?  Does he just want attention?  He is a young leader, so maybe he's just trying to assert his perceived power to the rest of the world.  But, you have to wonder what he really believes about the rest of the world considering he's probably been fed a lot of lies and propaganda over the years.

Although the news depicts most of the people in Seoul to find these 'new' threats just the "same 'ole, same 'ole" from the North, but those outside of the capital in the small out lying islands have a little more fear and panic in their responses.  Again, innocent people may suffer at the hands of one person's delusions or quest for power.  How can this happen?  Didn't we learn anything from history?  What about our "North vs. South" conflict, the Civil War?  Does history just keep repeating itself?  I hope not!  I hope leaders around the world (and even in small cities around the country) find peaceful compromise, calming influence, solid acts of diplomacy and just plain common sense!

Pray for peace in your own neighborhoods, in your communities, for our nation and for countries around the world.  I pray that for you...and especially for North Korea and South Korea right now.